The terrible twos, a survival story. They really are terrible.

We started noticing a couple of months ago that our daughter didn’t seem herself. She just didn’t look to be as happy and we wondered what was wrong. Then the tantrums started… We hit the ‘terrible twos’ at 20 months. And there I was thinking we had a bit more time! Why???! What did I do to deserve this?!Imogen has always been a smiler. I know medical professionals would tell me I’m wrong but as soon as she was born Imogen was smiling. She just looked so happy to be alive! Strangers in the street would constantly comment on what a happy girl my daughter was. So it’s horrible to see her go from being a happy little girlie to a frustrated gremlin in a matter of seconds.

This is totally normal from what I’ve heard from every parent, but it’s hard to think of that when you’re experiencing a toddler meltdown. A couple trips out I’ve had with friends have turned into me trying to distract or negotiate with my daughter to stop her screaming. Whether this is the right thing to do I don’t know! I’m tackling anxiety anyway at the moment and it puts me on edge to go out much knowing how she can get at the moment. I know it’s just a phase and I’m so proud of her for making her own decisions on things but the hitting is the worst thing. She’s not just hitting me, (not hard) but she’s hitting herself in the face if she can’t tell me what she wants. It’s horrible to see and I’ve only ever taught her that hitting is wrong. Her speech is coming along so well at the moment so with any luck I’m thinking that the more she can communicate, the less frustrated she will be getting.

I read on a mums’ social group that some other mums were having the same worries about this phase. It can come earlier than 2 years old!

I realised that it’s not me having an inability to properly look after my daughter. Why is it that it’s always my go to, to blame myself as a mother? I look around and it’s like every other mum has things all sorted out, but they’re going through it too, or have gone through it. I’m not doing anything wrong! It shouldn’t matter what people think when I’m out with her, I’m dealing with it, mkay? Just please don’t come over to me to make a point of telling me that my daughter has just screamed loudly or that she’s making a funny noise. I am well aware! I wish people didn’t have to draw so much attention to a situation or make suggestions on what I should do, it makes my anxiety that I was previously managing worse!

I reckon it’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed because it’s not easy when your child is hanging off you and squealing that they want more biscuits and don’t want to leave the park. It’s all amplified when your tot is teething too, which is our other joy at the moment.

So yes I didn’t do much house work today. I couldn’t be bothered to cook anything for myself and my partner, I’ll order takeaway. I’m going to put my feet up and be proud that we got through today without tears, (on my part) and I know I’m not alone! Give a mum a high five. We’re awesome! We’ll get through this again tomorrow.

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Charlie Bull

14 thoughts on “The terrible twos, a survival story. They really are terrible.

  1. This so speaks to my life right now. Good to know I'm not alone. My sweet little boy became a terror right around 19 months and he's also getting molars right now. Oh, how I hate teeth! We've got this!

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  2. Oh my goodness! I totally relate! I have 2 kids under the age of 2 right now that are really hard to deal with when it comes to communicating their needs, especially in public! Thankfully, I know for a fact this stage passes because my older 2 children do not tantrum anymore (for the most part). 😉 Thanks for joining #WanderingWednesday!

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  3. Yes, the Terrible Twos start well before 2 and only progress to the even more aggressive Threenager stage… it's a tough time for parents and kids, but it's a part of their growing up years nonetheless. But I wholeheartedly agree with you that at times like these, and on tough days like these, #itsok to just let the rest of the stuff be… we mums are indeed awesome!

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  4. Well for me the terrible twos is a distant memory but it was difficult. All the best as you still have to reach all the other phases. I suppose it's all part of their development #itsok

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