Before you become a parent, you’re filled with this sick kind of optimism, but nowadays I like to call it blind and plainly idiotic naivety. You have this perfect idea of motherhood and everything it entails. You have all of these admirable morals and strict rules that you absolutely will stick to, such as no TV or no swearing or whatever else. But try as you might, parenting will break you. You won’t be the mum you set out to be, no matter how hard you try. AND THAT IS OKAY!
So, in celebration of how awesome being a mum is, here are my top 8 things that I never thought I’d hear myself say when I became a mum.
I apologise in advance…
“Why have you done a poo on the floor, RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR POTTY?”
“No thanks, I want to wipe my own bum actually!”
“It’s “clock”, not “cock”!”
“Why have you got highlighter on your face?”
“Stop trying to climb back up into my womb!”
“Don’t worry, she’s not saying “fucking hell”, she’s saying “sparkly hair”…”
“Really? You want Siri to beatbox AGAIN?!”
I would love to know what your “I never thought I’d say that” moments are, too! Let us know in the comments or on Facebook 🙂