The Truth About Your Sex Life After Kids…

Okay, family members – gonna pre-warn you now…

DO NOT READ THIS.
Disclaimer over and done with, let’s get down to the dirty business πŸ˜‰
You may hear a lot of people tell you that you’ll never have sex after having kids, in the same way that people tell you that ‘everything changes when you get married’.
In my opinion, they’re both a load of bollocks!
The truth is, yeah stuff changes, but it’s just part of getting older.
I won’t lie, our sex lives were pretty bloody amazing (and still are)… But I mean, sometimes it would be 3 times a day or more, and while that’s awesome, it’s not really sustainable when you have little people climbing into bed with you in the middle of the night! Nothing changed when we got married, but we already had Olivia by that point.
After I had her, it wasn’t long before we started trying to get down to it again – I think the first attempt was 4 weeks postpartum, but it was still too sore for me down there after being stitched up so we had to hold off and wait to try again another time. I think it ended up being 8 weeks postpartum that we actually managed it successfully, but the first time after birth will change for everyone – some people literally go months without even trying, but Jamie and I being the way we were we couldn’t wait that long.
The next hurdle is then if you have time when either or both of you aren’t exhausted. In all honesty I don’t remember the particulars of how often and when, but I still don’t remember it being that much different for us. We were relatively lucky and Olivia slept through the night from quite early on, meaning we could still make a bit of time for us. Although sleep deprivation hit me hard from the midnight breastfeeds at the very beginning, you begin getting into a routine with your child and then the much needed me-time, or us-time, will go back to normal, or almost normal for us.
This may be the difference between one kid and multiple, but since Olivia started going to her own bed in her own room, it obviously became even easier to maintain our relationship as it was before having her… And let’s be real here, the 7 months apart while he was on deployment probably helped keep our sex lives going as soon as he got back!
We’ve now been married for a year, had Olivia for 2 years and have been together 5 years. I’d like to think that it’s just as it always was.
Things don’t need to change as long as you keep making time for each other, that’s all it really comes down to!
How do you make time for each other after having kids?

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Sarah Barber

I am well on my way to becoming a barrister, and hope that one day my little munchkin will follow in my footsteps! I'm also a wife to a Grenadier Guard dealing with army life, and I write letters to Olivia as well as writing for the amazing blog we run over at www.mummykind.com

14 thoughts on “The Truth About Your Sex Life After Kids…

  1. I think it’s different for everyone – depending on the type of labour experience you had, the after effects of that, healing time etc. I know of women who suffered such traumatic deliveries that physically and mentally it just wasn’t possible for a long time. I think it’s good to give a positive message that things dont have to change, but equally – if things have to change for a while then that’s ok too and also completely normal πŸ™‚ #kcacols

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  2. We struggle to make time for each other. We have four children and finding that time without one of them getting up for a wee, cuddle or a feed is tricky – doable and we need to make it more of a priority – but tricky! #KCACOLS

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  3. I love the warning at the beginning of this post – mad me giggle! For us the only hurdle is just the exhaustion of having kids, working, getting older etc and actually having any energy left at the end of a day!!!! We usually manage it though!! πŸ˜‰ #KCACOLS

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  4. love, love, love your honesty! People told me that everything would change once we got married and the only that changed was my name! So it's good to know that having kids isn't the marriage killer I've heard it is! #KCACOLS

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  5. Go through batches of some and then not so much. Depends on how we feel more than the kids. Family life at our house can be a bit stressful and that more than anything else impacts on our relationship sometimes. Thanks for linking to #kcacols

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  6. Aww I feel your pain! We find it hard enough with just one child interrupting any alone time, but definitely try and make a date night a regular thing! Thank you for commenting πŸ™‚

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  7. Yeah I would say the exhaustion plays a big part for us too – I've just started a new job with a very long commute, so I get little to no time with my daughter or husband in the evenings now sadly! 😦

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