I wrote a blog entry in 2019 about preparing my daughter for her brother coming along. It worked to an extent! She was so excited and seemed to be prepared for the change! But we’ve still run into a few hurdles along the way.
I cannot fault her for how helpful she is with him and for showing an interest in him. I’m so proud of her when she tells me on a daily basis that she loves him and when she introduces him to everyone that she meets.
Everyone said she’d get jealous but I was so adamant that she wouldn’t. I mean I never stopped giving her my attention so I naively thought in my head it wasn’t going to happen. The first few weeks passed and we had no problems whatsoever.
In hindsight this could have been because my partner was around for the first 4 weeks. Since then my daughter’s been copying behaviours such as wetting herself, (which has happened as late as her brother turning 4 months old). On one occasion because her brother had drooled on me, she started licking my clothes! She’s stopped doing these things, (at the moment) and I found the best way to respond was to talk to her, to ask her if she was okay, reassuring her that I love her for her and that she doesn’t have to be like her brother. I’ve been trying to make more one to one time although it’s quite hard because my partner is at University as well as working full-time and we don’t have a lot of involvement from other family members, because they are busy doing their own thing. She’s constantly asking for cuddles and wants to sit on my lap when I’m feeding her brother, but I’ve found a way of having them on each knee! It’s easier said than done though, trying to juggle everything. I feel so guilty that she’s having to wait all the time for me and if she asks me to play with her, I feel like I have a million and one things I need to do first at the moment. I don’t want her to feel she’s not important, but I only have two hands! When my partner was home over Christmas I was able to take her out to do a few nice, inexpensive Christmas activities, so we could have quality time, but I’m not going to lie, it’s been hard to do that since. In my situation my partner finishes University soon, so hopefully that will create more opportunities for us as a family to do nice things.
Whether it’s because: she’s now 3; that she’s dropped her daily nap; or because of all the change, her behaviour has definitely become more challenging. She is such a strong and determined young lady, which I’m proud of but she can be so defiant and a handful when she wants to be. So taking both little ones out on my own, trying to build up my confidence, has been difficult when she’s been doing what she wants to do and not what I’m asking of her. Not only that but the not listening is so hard isn’t it?!
Please tell me this phase passes soon!